An argument in favor of slow growth: A lesson from growing out a bad haircut

I enjoy letting my hair grow out.

I discovered this after I discovered that I was bisexual when I was in college. And of course the next step was for me to get a pixie haircut like all the other queer women on my campus. As soon as I got the cut, I realized it wasn't me. It didn't make me any more bisexual than was before I cut my hair. I got to unlearn in that moment internalized messages about femininity and how it overlaps with (and is sometimes rejected by) queer culture. But I did not despair about my bad haircut. I played around with products and found a way to get it to lay in a tolerable way and continued on my day.

As anyone who has ever gotten a short haircut can likely tell you, the grow out phase can be pretty awkward. Many end up going back and back to the hairdresser to get shorter and shorter hair because they can't handle the awkward grow out stage, even if they might wish they could grow out their hair longer.

But I knew I wanted long hair again. So I knew I was going to endure the grow out stage.

And what I discovered was that it was only ever truly awkward for about 2 weeks before I discovered a new way to style it to make it look fine-enough. Barret clips. And that would be my new look for the next month or so. Until my hair became a bit longer and that started to look awkward. Then I would have to spend another 2 weeks tolerating the awkward grow out stage until I figured out that it looked good with a head band. And so on and so on until it was long enough that it was time to cut it again, just maybe not as short as before.

I reflected on this today when I looked in the mirror at how I had my hair pulled back in a low sloppy bun that I couldn't put it in 6 months ago. And I reflected on how personal growth is not too different from hair growth.

The thing to remember when you are on your personal growth journey is that there will be periods of time when it is awkward, when you might not want to be seen as you are growing out of old patterns and old ways of being. These are the stages of transformation, of transitioning from one phase of your journey to another.

And many people find it unbearable, just like they find the awkward hair grow out to be unbearable and rush to the hairdresser to make it presentable. But I would encourage you to simply embrace your growing phase. The discomfort is temporary. As long as you are consistent about taking steps to grow in the direction you want to grow in, you will get there, but it might take a bit of time, and there might be some uncomfortable moments getting there.